Sean showed me a video of Julia and Holly from maybe 2010 - 2011. They were singing a sweet song in our old living room around Christmas time - it was a song they learned years before at the church we attended in Tucson. Yeehaws and hand motions.
It was like seeing old friends. I felt a huge swelling of love at the sight of those people. And it was so odd - to see those people I love so much - people I loved so much. And to think of all the changes they've gone through since then. And to know that the girls in that video are gone.
I could see glimpses of who they've become and who they've been in the meantime, and it made me laugh and smile.
I miss those girls so very much.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
Sunday, January 27, 2019
Who Am I
I like Facebook. Or I used to.
I like to scroll through the pictures and test myself on how long it takes me to recognize someone in them. I like to scroll past memes and guess who posted it and then scroll back and see if I'm right.
There used to be a lot more personal stuff in my feed. Then I followed some less personal, more hobby type, pages. Now there's a lot of ads and a lot of news stories and editorials and just a sprinkling of personal stuff. I guess that's okay. I suppose it could be Facebook algorithms hiding the personal stuff from me. Or it could be that most of the people I know post as infrequently as I do. And how can I get upset about that?
In the limited amount of personal stuff I see on Facebook, I see a lot of pretty strong opinions posted, usually in few words and with pictures. Some of it I find surprising. And a few times I want to unfriend the person who continuously posts stuff I just don't agree with.
But then I stop and think - if I unfriend them, they won't see my stuff either. So maybe I should just post more of my own opinions instead of getting irritated at theirs.
But I haven't.
I haven't found the right few words with a pretty picture to sum up my thoughts.
I like to scroll through the pictures and test myself on how long it takes me to recognize someone in them. I like to scroll past memes and guess who posted it and then scroll back and see if I'm right.
There used to be a lot more personal stuff in my feed. Then I followed some less personal, more hobby type, pages. Now there's a lot of ads and a lot of news stories and editorials and just a sprinkling of personal stuff. I guess that's okay. I suppose it could be Facebook algorithms hiding the personal stuff from me. Or it could be that most of the people I know post as infrequently as I do. And how can I get upset about that?
In the limited amount of personal stuff I see on Facebook, I see a lot of pretty strong opinions posted, usually in few words and with pictures. Some of it I find surprising. And a few times I want to unfriend the person who continuously posts stuff I just don't agree with.
But then I stop and think - if I unfriend them, they won't see my stuff either. So maybe I should just post more of my own opinions instead of getting irritated at theirs.
But I haven't.
I haven't found the right few words with a pretty picture to sum up my thoughts.
Saturday, January 26, 2019
Looking Back and Forward
I didn't know what I'd find on my old blog. How sweet - and sad - that it was Buddy.
Buddy's been gone over a year. Oct 9, I think, 2017, was the day he left us. He'd had 2 back surgeries in the year before that, and around Oct 7 he had obviously reinjured it. He couldn't walk again. He was in pain. He just stayed on his pillow and he didn't eat. I can't believe he was only 3 when he had the first surgery.
What a sweet dog he was.
He was the kind of dog that liked to sit at your feet. Maybe on them even. Definitely touching. Just a quiet presence kind of dog.
I keep his photo around. I like to see his face. I wish I had taken longer to say goodbye to him. I feel a little guilty. I told the kids about Buddy's back, and that he would have to go to the vet - and maybe I told them we couldn't afford another surgery. I'm not sure I spelled out exactly what that meant. And I took him to the vet on Monday morning while they were all at school.
I had my mom go with me.
Buddy peed on the vet tech when she took him out of the room to put in the IV. He couldn't control his bladder.
I thought I was ready. I thought he was ready. I felt relieved when he relaxed at first. And then he was gone so fast.
Buddy's been gone over a year. Oct 9, I think, 2017, was the day he left us. He'd had 2 back surgeries in the year before that, and around Oct 7 he had obviously reinjured it. He couldn't walk again. He was in pain. He just stayed on his pillow and he didn't eat. I can't believe he was only 3 when he had the first surgery.
What a sweet dog he was.
He was the kind of dog that liked to sit at your feet. Maybe on them even. Definitely touching. Just a quiet presence kind of dog.
I keep his photo around. I like to see his face. I wish I had taken longer to say goodbye to him. I feel a little guilty. I told the kids about Buddy's back, and that he would have to go to the vet - and maybe I told them we couldn't afford another surgery. I'm not sure I spelled out exactly what that meant. And I took him to the vet on Monday morning while they were all at school.
I had my mom go with me.
Buddy peed on the vet tech when she took him out of the room to put in the IV. He couldn't control his bladder.
I thought I was ready. I thought he was ready. I felt relieved when he relaxed at first. And then he was gone so fast.
I wasn't ready.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Buddy
Sean went to the SPCA this morning. He said he was just going to look. He even said we could go back together tomorrow if he found a dog he liked.
I said I couldn't really go tomorrow, and I did not think I would not be able to go and just look. But I would have been shocked if he had not come home with a dog. He was scouting out the adoptable dogs on the SPCA website yesterday. And he wanted a puppy.
So far, everyone loves him - even the resident dog and cat. Well, they seem open to him joining us.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Knitting Bunnies
Over Thanksgiving I made a couple of little bunnies - constructed off a rectangle, so nothing fancy - for Holly's friends who saw one I'd made as a birthday gift for another of her friends. Then yesterday Holly came home with a list of 13 "orders" for bunnies from other classmates.
It's nice to have a project to work on that has a home to go to when it's done. I do have a few other things to do - like decorating for Christmas or making cookies or shopping for gifts. So I'd hate to get sucked into knitting as procrastinating doing the laundry or something...
It's nice to have a project to work on that has a home to go to when it's done. I do have a few other things to do - like decorating for Christmas or making cookies or shopping for gifts. So I'd hate to get sucked into knitting as procrastinating doing the laundry or something...
Monday, November 5, 2012
Growing Up
Julia lost her last baby tooth over the weekend.
It makes me a little sad. I have it in my pocket, waiting I guess for her to ask to send it to the tooth fairy. I don't think she will. And so I wonder if the tooth fairy should come anyway. With a fantastic glittery note.
She got an ipod for her birthday last week. Today she walked home from school and dropped the ipod on the walk. The front is all broken. Alan got a glass splinter in his hand checking it out. But Julia was not in tears coming in the door. She seemed to think I would be the one to be upset about it. I know she has to be upset herself, but it doesn't seem to be top of her list to make sure something is done to fix it.
And I guess that could mean either she realizes it is only a toy, or it could signal that she has no doubt that it will be fixed and quickly and there's no sense getting worked up about it.
So I wonder if I should put off getting it fixed.
Because maybe having to wait for it would be a good thing. And because it's no cheap fix.
Then I think back to last week.
Halloween night Julia went trick-or-treating with 3 friends and Holly. They had a great time walking around my mom's neighborhood (where there are street lights and sidewalks) by themselves. Only one house questioned their ages (only Julia and one friend went up to this house, the other girls were otherwise occupied). And the woman turned them away - told them they were too old and to get off her porch.
Rude.
I knew just the house when Julia told me. As we passed it, she did the same thing to 2 older boys. And it made me angry and sad and frustrated that while we complain about not wanting kids to grow up too fast, we then cut them out of childhood fun.
Only the whole incident didn't really bother Julia. She had a great time trick-or-treating. (She told me her response to the woman was a curtsy and a "Well, trick-or-treat to you, too!" as they left.) And when I explained why the whole thing bothered me - including the fact that people treat each other rudely when they can say No so much more politely - Julia responded that the woman probably just wasn't very happy and that's why she was mean.
She shut me up.
Another morning last week Holly was throwing fits about anything. She was complaining about Alan moving too slow and being late and just being a jerk. After they left I asked Julia why she thought Holly acted like that in the mornings. She told me that she thinks Holly is just tired and she doesn't want to be late, so when she thinks they are going to be late she flips out a little.
Hm. Good point.
And then Friday afternoon as I picked Julia up from school and we headed to meet Oliver I said to Julia that I had packed her some outfits but probably had not done as good a job at putting them together as she does. "That's okay," she said. "I'll have clothes and that's all that matters."
Okay.
My baby girl is growing up.
It makes me a little sad. I have it in my pocket, waiting I guess for her to ask to send it to the tooth fairy. I don't think she will. And so I wonder if the tooth fairy should come anyway. With a fantastic glittery note.
She got an ipod for her birthday last week. Today she walked home from school and dropped the ipod on the walk. The front is all broken. Alan got a glass splinter in his hand checking it out. But Julia was not in tears coming in the door. She seemed to think I would be the one to be upset about it. I know she has to be upset herself, but it doesn't seem to be top of her list to make sure something is done to fix it.
And I guess that could mean either she realizes it is only a toy, or it could signal that she has no doubt that it will be fixed and quickly and there's no sense getting worked up about it.
So I wonder if I should put off getting it fixed.
Because maybe having to wait for it would be a good thing. And because it's no cheap fix.
Then I think back to last week.
Halloween night Julia went trick-or-treating with 3 friends and Holly. They had a great time walking around my mom's neighborhood (where there are street lights and sidewalks) by themselves. Only one house questioned their ages (only Julia and one friend went up to this house, the other girls were otherwise occupied). And the woman turned them away - told them they were too old and to get off her porch.
Rude.
I knew just the house when Julia told me. As we passed it, she did the same thing to 2 older boys. And it made me angry and sad and frustrated that while we complain about not wanting kids to grow up too fast, we then cut them out of childhood fun.
Only the whole incident didn't really bother Julia. She had a great time trick-or-treating. (She told me her response to the woman was a curtsy and a "Well, trick-or-treat to you, too!" as they left.) And when I explained why the whole thing bothered me - including the fact that people treat each other rudely when they can say No so much more politely - Julia responded that the woman probably just wasn't very happy and that's why she was mean.
She shut me up.
Another morning last week Holly was throwing fits about anything. She was complaining about Alan moving too slow and being late and just being a jerk. After they left I asked Julia why she thought Holly acted like that in the mornings. She told me that she thinks Holly is just tired and she doesn't want to be late, so when she thinks they are going to be late she flips out a little.
Hm. Good point.
And then Friday afternoon as I picked Julia up from school and we headed to meet Oliver I said to Julia that I had packed her some outfits but probably had not done as good a job at putting them together as she does. "That's okay," she said. "I'll have clothes and that's all that matters."
Okay.
My baby girl is growing up.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Next project?
I didn't sew anything today. The sewing machine is still sitting on the table though. And there is still a basket of fabric sitting near the machine on the table so I can turn it into something fabulous when I get the inspiration. I wish the inspiration would come.
I have been asked to make some Halloween costumes. Only, she can't really make up her mind what she wants to be. And when I ask her to sketch out what she wants me to sew it includes things like - this part should be gold sequins and this part should be lace. Hm. Great attention to detail, only I don't usually keep a lot of black lace and gold sequins in my stash. How about a cool teenage witch costume made with baby ducks fabric? I can do that!
I have also been asked to make costumes for Julia's drama club performance. Only I'm not sure what kind of costumes they are wanting and not sure how many or what size anyone is - or when the performance will be. Minor details, really.
Not to mention I have a few unfinished projects tucked into my stash - a quilt to make from old receiving blankets. Or a few doll quilts instead of a quilt. That seems to be the decision I need to make in order to finish the quilt(s). A t-shirt dress half cut out for Jillian. Cut from a black t-shirt. I'm not excited about a black t-shirt dress. I should embellish it with something colorful or funky. Or at least plan to embellish it. Maybe the planning will inspire me to finish it.
I do like the thrill of seeing my stash pile go down.
I know I have been texting too much when I get the urge to end every sentence with a smiley face :) So you will know I'm not grumpy while I'm complaining :) Smiley faces seem to make everything I type okay :)
Maybe I'm tired.
Good night. :)
I have been asked to make some Halloween costumes. Only, she can't really make up her mind what she wants to be. And when I ask her to sketch out what she wants me to sew it includes things like - this part should be gold sequins and this part should be lace. Hm. Great attention to detail, only I don't usually keep a lot of black lace and gold sequins in my stash. How about a cool teenage witch costume made with baby ducks fabric? I can do that!
I have also been asked to make costumes for Julia's drama club performance. Only I'm not sure what kind of costumes they are wanting and not sure how many or what size anyone is - or when the performance will be. Minor details, really.
Not to mention I have a few unfinished projects tucked into my stash - a quilt to make from old receiving blankets. Or a few doll quilts instead of a quilt. That seems to be the decision I need to make in order to finish the quilt(s). A t-shirt dress half cut out for Jillian. Cut from a black t-shirt. I'm not excited about a black t-shirt dress. I should embellish it with something colorful or funky. Or at least plan to embellish it. Maybe the planning will inspire me to finish it.
I do like the thrill of seeing my stash pile go down.
I know I have been texting too much when I get the urge to end every sentence with a smiley face :) So you will know I'm not grumpy while I'm complaining :) Smiley faces seem to make everything I type okay :)
Maybe I'm tired.
Good night. :)
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