I'm not inclined to give spare change to beggars. Usually. No, always. And I rarely let the people who call on the phone asking for donations for one charity or another get more than a few seconds into their plea before cutting them off. Sometimes I feel like I'm stingy because of it. Sometimes I just wish they wouldn't ask me, but would let me give if I wanted to.
A friend of mine in high school went digging into his car ashtray and handed a fistful of change to a guy begging in the parking lot of a Wendy's. After dark. While I sat very still wondering why he didn't ignore the guy or roll up the window to drive away. My friend was a better person than I was.
Yesterday as I was putting everyone into the car after church, a man approached us in the parking lot and asked for spare change. I shrugged and said I didn't have any. What I really meant was that I was trying to get everyone happily into the car and buckled up without spilling the animal crackers they held or making them promises I had no intention of keeping. What I really meant was that I had my plate full at the moment and didn't want to put down my armful of jackets and Bibles to find my wallet to see if I had anything I was willing to part with.
And then I watched as he approached another lady coming out of the church who also turned him down. And I was struck with the thought that - approaching people coming out of church asking for a handout should be a great idea for someone in need. Wouldn't you expect the churchgoer to more readily reach for a wallet to help?
And when I sat in the car I remembered I did have a stray dollar and I got it out and looked for the man. But he was gone. He was already quite a way down the sidewalk, and while I debated chasing him down or just trying to drive up next to him on the road, the traffic picked up and I just went on my way.
But I hope the next time someone approaches me asking for spare change I remember my high school friend's generosity and forget my own troubles to help. And the people who call on the phone I'll still turn away with no regret.
6 comments:
I used to never give money, but then I read a quote by Walt Whitman (I think?) that said "Give alms to all who ask. Argue not concerning God."
And I just hear that in my head and decide that if someone is desperate enough to ask, then I can surely give a little. And, I'm sure I've given to people who don't really need it. And people who abuse it. And, I'd rather give food, or bottled water or socks or something, but of course I never have that on me.
I was in my Grandmother's church once and there was a homeless man going around begging and the pastor kicked him out. It just seemed SO wrong for some reason. At least his sermon directly following wasn't about giving to the poor.
It is such a conundrum because I don't want to contribute to someone's drug problem. But, my relative who works with the homeless says 95% of them are too mentally ill to hold down a job in our society.
I never, EVER donate over the phone. EVER.
Oh and one more thing, my homeless-worker relative told me to always make eye contact and smile to beggars even if you don't give them anything. She says it just dehumanizes them even more to act like you don't see them. So, I try to smile at all I see at least. Just for what it's worth....(but I do lock my car doors. Sad.)
This one has been a huge struggle for me too. I think we are just so jaded to it and for all kinds of reasons have convinced ourselves it's better to turn them away. But one day I realized that it's not up to me to judge what that person is going to do with the change I give them. Jesus said to help the poor, and I don't think that was meant to be a spiritual concept. Do I always roll down my window and help people? No. But sometimes is better than never, and I'm working on it! Thanks for the reminder. :)
My husband doesn't like to give to the homeless - instead he'll spend his saturday morning feeding them at a soup kitchen our church provides. I am with Leigh Ann here... ever since I learned about what the bible says about giving to those less fortunate than you, I just can't walk away. I have tried buying McDonald's happy meals for some - but change is usually what's easiest. I pray for what they do with that $$. Regardess, I needed the reminder too. Thanks!
Joanna, interesting discussion.... you might try what I have done (and it worked with nieces, nephews, g nieces and g nephews), I tell them they are welcome to whatever money I have in my pocket. And I never pass a Salvation Army bucket at Christmas without tossing in something. Now, NYC is a different situation as I run out of pocket money before I leave the train! There I usually look the other way. Take care.
I sometimes drive to a fast food chain or the nearest convenience store and buy a meal or store hot dogs. Then I go back to where they are. Never has anyone been angry with me and they always seem grateful.
Post a Comment