I've been debating this post for weeks. And wonder about the need for it. But since yesterday was the day it was final and since we talked to the kids the other night, I can't really justify ignoring it anymore. Oliver and I are divorced.
I'm not sure what else to say.
What we said to the kids and what I believe is that we are a family, but he and I are not married anymore. Soon we will have 2 households and will spend a lot of energy making sure that the kids feel like they have a whole family in those two households.
Julia asked a lot of questions. From who gets the couch and who gets the TV to why? (Oliver gets the couch, we have 2 TVs, and there is no simple answer for why.) Of course we didn't start out when we married with this in mind - and that makes it sad, but at the same time I have hope for happiness for all of us in the long run.
A divorce is a dissolution of a marriage. It does not mean that we cannot be good parents to the kids and friends to each other. It also does not mean that I care nothing for all the people - friends and family - that I've met because of and through Oliver, and I think he'd say the same. It was very difficult to find the words to tell my family about our decision. I'm surprised at how much harder it's been to tell friends.
I realize that writing this blog opens up my thoughts for people to read and judge. And in most cases I appreciate comments and thoughts on the things I've said. In this case, I think comments would best be made in a more personal manner if anybody feels compelled to comment. I also know there are times when the right words to say to someone are hard to find - and here saying nothing is completely acceptable.
And, in case you're wondering, I'm going to run this post by Oliver before publishing.
