I had my second epidural steroid shot today to hopefully help my back, alleviate my leg pain, avoid surgery, and let me get back to normal functioning. I had the first one a week ago. That one hurt a lot. This one wasn't so bad, and I'm really hopeful it's going to help. After the first I was able to cut back on the medication by maybe half and do about twice as much moving around as before it.
Sitting hurts. Riding in a car hurts. Sometimes standing still hurts. Sometimes lying on my back hurts. The only position I find real relief in is on my stomach. It's just not appropriate to lay on my stomach in the middle of Target when I've pushed myself too much and need a break. Things as simple as driving Alan to school and picking him up have brought me to tears with pain.
The doctor who gave me the shot didn't really understand my hurt the first time I saw him. He discounted the help I was getting from the medicine that morning, so the second time I went I didn't take any beforehand. I think he got it more that time.
Even after the first shot I thought I might end up having to have surgery. Now I'm knocking on wood and saying I don't think I will. A few weeks ago I would lay on the air mattress in the living room and wonder if I'd ever be able to function again. How can I take care of the kids when I can't stand up for more than 30 seconds without sharp pain running down my leg?
I read a bunch of books. I have watched more Food Network than I would ever want to admit. Julia started wondering when I was going to start cooking all the recipes I was watching and reading.
But a few days ago I got out the sewing machine. And I went through my fabric stash and patterns and I have ideas and plans for a couple of girl skirts and a boy shirt. I haven't gone so far as to cut anything out. But it really feels good to just have the desire to do something other than lay down.
As a side note - my mom has retired and moved to town. The kids are excited because her apartment complex has a pool. And we have visited every day and been in the pool every possible time since she moved in. I guess time will tell if we drive each other crazy seeing each other every day. We've lived really far away for a really long time.
Julia says a girl in her class picks on her and has called her a 'nerd'. She doesn't want to tell on the girl for fear it will just make the picking worse. She didn't seem too upset by the name calling - or really any of the mean things she's said the girl has done. It seems to more annoy her than make her sad - or maybe there's a tinge of sadness in there. Julia doesn't seem to want to be the girl's friend, so maybe that's the difference this time. She'd settle for indifference from the girl. It hasn't made her want to be less of a 'nerd'.
That's my update. We're going day by day here. Breathe in, breathe out.
Oliver's going to be moving to Washington DC this summer. The kids are excited. I think they (or at least Julia) is going to miss the house in Alabama. Alan keeps asking when we're going to move.
Life just keeps going on.
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