Anger Management

On Saturday, my mom and Sean, Jillian and I went to a birthday gathering for my dad's mom who turned 93 on Friday.  My dad was there, and his sister and her kids and grandkids were there, and my brother was there with his family.  It was neat to watch everyone.  Sean and I took turns following Jillian around and visiting with the adults.  She was safest outside in the yard - mostly because she didn't nap that day and was into anything she could find to get into.

At some point in the afternoon, my dad told a story about a woman in an airport.  She was waiting for her flight, working on her laptop and eating a bag of cookies she'd bought.  The man sitting next to her was also eating from her bag of cookies.  And she didn't say anything to him, but was furious as it went on.  When there was one cookie left, the man took it, broke it in half, and gave half to the woman.  When the woman's flight was called, she got on the plane in a foul mood and stashed her things.  She kept out her purse, which she opened after she sat down.  There was the bag of cookies that she had purchased.

Oops.

I think the conversation that drew out the story was started by talk of who in the family is outspoken.  I was on Jillian duty at the time, but mom told me the story tonight.

Holly is a spitfire.  She always has been.  It's just her personality.  She's very much a perfectionist about some things.  Wrinkles in her socks would frustrate her to tears at the age of 2.  She could make her bed like an officer in training in the Air Force even then.  She wants her hair just so and her clothes to look a certain way.  And when she's doing homework she is often frustrated when she can't find the exact answer she thinks she is supposed to have. 

I'm sure this part of her personality will serve her well in certain circumstances in her life.  But, it also bites her from time to time.

Tonight she got mad at Alan for wanting to hold onto the cup he was letting her have a sip out of.  So she tossed the contents of the cup in his face. 

This led to a very long lecture from me to her as well as a freshly mopped floor by her for me.

I believe that "from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks."  And I think that what you think, you will say, and what you say, you will do, and what you do is what people will expect you to do next time, too.  I am worried that Holly must be filled up with anger and frustration to lash out like she does sometimes.  She can also be the most caring, sweetest little girl you can imagine.

I don't want her to be the angry, frustrated woman on the laptop in the story.  I want her to be breaking her last cookie in half, to give it to a stranger who has been taking them from her all along.

And I told her so.