Saturday, January 26, 2019

Looking Back and Forward

I didn't know what I'd find on my old blog.  How sweet - and sad - that it was Buddy.

Buddy's been gone over a year.  Oct 9, I think, 2017, was the day he left us.  He'd had 2 back surgeries in the year before that, and around Oct 7 he had obviously reinjured it.  He couldn't walk again.  He was in pain. He just stayed on his pillow and he didn't eat.  I can't believe he was only 3 when he had the first surgery.

What a sweet dog he was.

He was the kind of dog that liked to sit at your feet.  Maybe on them even.  Definitely touching.  Just a quiet presence kind of dog.

I keep his photo around.  I like to see his face.  I wish I had taken longer to say goodbye to him.  I feel a little guilty.  I told the kids about Buddy's back, and that he would have to go to the vet - and maybe I told them we couldn't afford another surgery.  I'm not sure I spelled out exactly what that meant.  And I took him to the vet on Monday morning while they were all at school.

I had my mom go with me.

Buddy peed on the vet tech when she took him out of the room to put in the IV.  He couldn't control his bladder.

I thought I was ready.  I thought he was ready.  I felt relieved when he relaxed at first.  And then he was gone so fast.


 
I wasn't ready.


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