Lessons

A number of years ago I commented to my cousin whose family was growing at the same rate my family was growing that I wished she would tell me her secrets to being organized and all. Her answer surprised me - that organizing is an ongoing thing. That you have to change and adapt. That really hadn't occurred to me. I thought there was a best way of doing things, and I hadn't figured it out yet.



Ha. Silly me. The best way just keeps changing. I've also learned -

Things don't have to be perfect.



Julia had a 'pound-a-ball' toy when she was an infant. Hammer the colored balls down the holes at the top and they come out the bottom. There were rings around the holes at the top to match the ball colors and one day she pulled the rings off. My first thought, I'm quite ashamed to say, was 'How am I going to get the colors back in the right order?' And about 3 seconds later the answer hit me. There was no specific order for the colors on the toy. It didn't matter if red was first or last. I'd like to think it was due to months of sleep deprivation that I panicked, but I'm not sure. I do know that I realized then that things don't have to be perfect.

Since then, I've also learned that a few stains on their clothes aren't going to hurt - nor will stains on a pot. And if today isn't so great, maybe tomorrow will be better. Neither is likely to be perfect - even if it's Christmas. And that's okay.



Getting out the door is going to take longer than you think.



I used to teach swimming lessons at a fitness club. I started when Julia was about 2 months old and she and eventually Holly would stay in the nursery while I taught. It took awhile for me to figure out that I couldn't just pick up and get in the car and drive to work. I had to plan for time to get in the car and get out of the car and get everyone settled in the nursery. And it hasn't changed. Even now that most of them can get their own stuff and put on their own coats and shoes, it still takes longer to get us all in and out of the car and to our destination than you might expect. Everytime I think we're ahead of schedule, we end up right on time.

Every morning we leave the house about 10 minutes later than I aim to leave. They still get there with plenty of time before the tardy bell, but it's the aiming and missing that bugs me. Good thing I know that it doesn't have to be perfect.



We all throw fits - they just look different.



I try not to cry when I throw a fit. I try to be very grown-up about it. Sometimes I fail miserably. I understand the kids' frustration at not being able to control what's going on around them. I can't always fix it for them, and I don't always want t0, but I understand. My reaction to their fits is, "We don't throw fits." However, I know that's a lie. We shouldn't. I don't want us to. But we all do. They just look different.

I need to remember that first rule more often. I bet I'd throw fewer fits. Especially when we're running behind schedule.